Wyclef, What Happened to Playing Your Guitar for Rwanda?

While I have always been a fan of the Fugees, and even Wyclef Jean’s solo career, I was a bit taken by surprise today when I read this New York Times headline: Wyclef Jean is Not Eligible to Run for President of Haiti. Ok.  I know I have been out of the country and away from internet access for two months…but since when was Wyclef even a contender for President of Haiti???  I mean, Clef, we all enjoyed your ever-so-inspirational If I Was President and its ability to give urban teens a sense of possibility, but did you actually think we were taking that song seriously?  We all know Haiti has had a tragic year, faces a long road of rebuilding, and undoubtedly needs stong leaders at the helm, but is a Haitian-born musician really the person to lead this fragile nation?  Clef–and I say this with the utmost respect–what happened to just playing your guitar for Rwanda?  Wasn’t that enough for you?  Now you want to be president of Haiti?  Can’t you just play your guitar for Haiti?  Maybe the drums?  Is Haiti so broken and disillusioned that Wyclef seemed like an apt choice?  Perhaps with its history of political corruption, Haitians hungered for a leader who actually had a sense of compassion and a public image to maintain.  In any case, singing about being president and actually being one are two very different things.  I for one would not have been holding my breath as the list of presidential candidates was being read earlier this week.  After all, according to Clef’s plan (Elected on Friday/assassinated on Saturday…), it would have been a pretty short-lived term in office.

What is it about celebrity that makes people think they are qualified to hold a public office?  Let’s examine some of the celebrity-turned-politicians we’ve seen over the past few decades:  Many people might not be aware of Ronald Reagan’s stint in pre-World War II Hollywood films before finding his way into the California governorship in the late sixties and eventually to two terms in the White House in the eighties.  However, his role as George Gipp in All American taught him nothing about managing a federal budget.  His “Reaganomics” tax cuts drove the nation into a deficit rivaled only by G.W. Bush.

Another celebrity to gain notoriety as the Governor of California is Arnold Schwarzenegger.  As a resident of California, I have had the…ahem…”pleasure” of watching California’s budget deficit grow exponentially.  The Governator’s solution now that he no longer has to worry about re-election?  Slash social service spending faster than the black guy in a Wes Craven movie.  My high school students and I were among the students and educators who took to the streets on March 4, 2010 in protest of the more than $9 billion in cuts to public education in California.  One of my students made a poster that read:  Governor of California…Terminator of California:  What’s the difference?  Exactly.

Still another California “celebritician” was Sonny Bono, who served as Mayor of Palm Springs, and eventually as a Congressional representative.    Perhaps all that stood in the way of Sunny and the governorship of California was the tree in Nevada that ended his life.  We’ll never know.  What we do know is that even being the spouse of a celebrity qualifies your for holding public office in California:  Bono’s wife Mary finished his term for him.

Let’s head over the Rockies to the Midwest.  Who could forget Jesse “The Body” Ventura?  Previously a pro-wrestler AND co-star with none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Predator, Ventura was mayor of Brooklyn Park, MN in the early nineties, but is more infamous for his election as Minnesota Governor in 1998.  Ventura became well-known for his frequent, off-hand, controversial comments, such as his statement on Letterman that the streets in St. Paul “must have been designed by drunken Irishmen.”  Well said Governor, well said.  Unfortunately, the media’s “scrutiny” got to Ventura and prevented him from running for a second term- isn’t that what being a celebrity is all about?! Stop saying dumb shit and they’ll leave you alone.

Now, even comedian and writer Al Franken has carved a political niche for himself in the Minnesota Senate….end of that story TBD.

As I move through the list of these “celebriticians” I realize that most of them got their start in California:  Alan Autry, George Murphy, Jack Kelly, Bob Dornan, Helen Gahagan Douglas, Sheila Kuehl…What the hell is wrong with this state?  Are we unknowingly lab rats in some political experiment?  Is there some underground passageway from Hollywood to Sacramento that the rest of us don’t know about?!  At least we can’t claim G.W Bush.  Admittedly, not all “celebriticians” are complete failures, but most of them have done nothing more than attract tabloid attention during their stints in office.  Are we just nostalgic for some of these bygone actors and athletes, or have politics become akin to a middle school student council race:  may the most popular win! Perhaps Americans have just become so lazy that being informed voters is too much of a hassle and we just vote for the name that sounds the most familiar–I’m pretty sure I’ve heard this name before, so s/he must be qualified, right? But what really makes someone qualified to govern other people?  Even extensive political experience is sometimes not enough.

What does this tour through United States celebrity politics have to do with Haiti?  Not much really, except to begin to prove why celebrity and politics…like Catholic priests and young boys, just don’t mix well.  Clef, your undying commitment to Haiti is truly admirable, but despite your surprisingly wide base of support, your presidency was not meant to be.  That’s why the song is called If I was President, and not when I am President.  Stick to music, and I promise to keep buying your albums…or at least sampling them on Limewire to see if they’re worth the money.